Why Rick Perry Should Never Be President: A Comprehensive (and Heavily Biased) Analysis of Governor Goodhair

Heavily political post ahead. More reasons why I don't belong in Texas.

Texas school children probably wouldn't know the truth about Texas secession rights, actually, seeing as how we have one of the worst education systems and graduation rates in the states. Our sex education also blows—required abstinence-only education in 96% of schools means that Texas is 47th in teen pregnancy, 50th in teen birth rates and 50th in repeat teen pregnancy. He thinks evolution is a "theory that's out there" and is trying to put creationism in public schools, defying a Supreme Court ruling as old as I am. He's defunded Planned Parenthood and his idea of "emergency legislation" is a required, invasive sonogram and forcing a doctor to describe the fetus's heartbeat to a pregnant woman seeking an abortion. He's denied all rights to gay couples. He doesn't legislate social policy—his god does. He's also a climate change denier. As Texas experiences one of the worst droughts in her history and fire has taken more than a million acres this year alone, he wants to pray weather difficulties away. He refuses federal help, and then bitches about the fact that he didn't get enough money to deal with it from Obama. Speaking of prayer, we all heard about the Response—where he aligned himself with a group called the New Apostolic Reformation who believe Oprah to be a harbinger of the Antichrist and that they are actual prophets, with a direct link to god.

And there is no "Texas Miracle". The increase has been in government jobs. Private sector jobs have actually fallen—a loss of 0.6%. Perry has added half the new government jobs in the country. And 40% of the jobs created are at or below minimum wage, that's why Texas has one of the largest percentages of uninsured people and uninsured children. We're also 50th when it comes to pre-natal care. It's true that we didn't have a housing bubble—but that's because we learned our lesson in the 80s and have some of the strictest REGULATIONS in the country. See also, the millions that Perry has taken in stimulus money. The 2nd most in the country. Granted, we're the second largest state in the country, but for an anti-government governor he's sure happy to take the government handouts.

And people want him to run the country? Excuse me while I go be sick.

(This morning, a friend of mine in New York sent me an email with an article regarding Perry's recent statements on Ben Bernanke and "treason"—in regards to Perry's own infamous words on the possibility of the secession of Texas. Perry makes me angry. Very very angry. I wrote this as an email response. I've posted it here now so that I can cite everything I reference. Looks like I was pretty much right on the money)